I just got a call from my doctor and the hospital... because of my visit this morning and the improved cervix dilation/effacement, I no longer qualify for the night-before drug. Which means... I go in tomorrow at 7am for inducement. I have definite mixed feelings over this. Relief. Fear. Sadness. Excitement. Etc. So although this is far from the way I wanted things to happen, I will still be holding that sweet little boy in less than 24 hours, so who can really complain? Love, the soon-to-be mama of 2!!
Well, thanks for all the well wishes this morning, and yes, I went to the hospital AGAIN. And yes, I was sent home AGAIN. So yes, I am STILL pregnant. [I mean, seriously, this is like a bad soap opera, huh??]
At about 7ish this morning, my contractions were 3-4 minutes apart and were pretty dang painful (couldn't talk through them). I thought I'd waited it out long enough, so we headed out. I check in, and I kid you not.... I'm actually dilated to a 2 now! [That sounds so menial but I never got there with Sailer until they finally broke my water.] So I was extatic!!! They hooked me up, and I was so confident that this was the real deal. They watched me for an hour, and the super nice nurse had told me early on if I didn't change, she'd have to send me home. She came back an hour later (now thinking about it, she had a weird look on her face). But I was not worried. She then checked me and said I sadly had no improvement and thus would have to send me home. I swear I felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach and knocked the breath out of me. She explained that I was suffering from something called "irritable uterus." [Which by the way I looked up when I got home and this is what I found... "Women who have experienced an irritable uterus will tell you that the condition can manifest itself in painful “like the real thing” feeling contractions. So if an IU really does not cause dilation and true labor, some think women with an IU should have no reason to worry and should just go about their daily lives, dealing with mild discomfort to severe pain, but not needing to be concerned about preterm labor and birth."] Ummmm, I'm worried about birth and a baby falling out if I just choose to ignore the "like the real thing feeling contractions." But I digress...
Well, I'm not a public crier, but she pulled that curtain back for me to change back into my clothes, and I literally just crumbled forward and completely lost it. Poor Mark!! He had no idea what to do, and bless his heart, gave me a hug and said "that last check really hurt, huh??" Well, that totally made me laugh out loud and then, of course, cry harder. The nurse came back so sympathetically and tried with very little success to explain how I'm supposed to distinguish what the real deal is going to be like or this irritable uterus business (doesn't that term sound fake??)... which only made me more upset b/c at this point I'm even more confused and frustrated. Basically the only difference would be if my water broke. Great! She also said I'm still on the waiting list for tonight for the cervix ripener (though I'm first on it), and then, proceeded to pressure me into just forgoing that part and coming straight for the pitocin in the morning. This only made me want to cry more. And honestly, I almost just said "yes" b/c I was at the point of let's get this done with now!!! I think Mark could tell I was wavering and he jumped in and just said "we'll check back later." Thank God for him.
We got home, and I crawled into bed. And I cannot believe it... I actually slept. And slept well for quite awhile. I haven't really slept more than an hour or so since last Wednesday, so I feel like a million bucks (still like an oompa loompa but at least a moderately well-rested one). I have prayed so hard over this pregnancy, little Lincoln, and sought His guidance on how to handle this labor/inducement deal (and I know so many of you incredible ladies have as well). It's funny b/c I don't think inducements are terrible which I'm sure it sounds like... it's just for some reason, I have NEVER had a peace about it for me with this pregnancy. I have from the beginning felt that He was telling me to wait. And goodness, who knows why?? Maybe this little man really needs the extra few days... I just don't know but I really am trying to listen and act accordingly (with Lincoln's safety in mind first!) My doctor told us yesterday if we can't get into tonight, we will do the night before procedure on Friday night and be induced finally on Saturday morning. She indicated that this may end up being better for us anyway b/c it would give the antibiotics she prescribed yesterday a chance to really work since I'm definitely going to need the strength for labor and b/c we definitely don't want Mr. L to be exposed to it either. So maybe all of this is a blessing?!?! I do think it's funny that they told me early on that he'd likely be 2 weeks early b/c he was going to be so big, blah blah blah, and here we are now if we wait until Sat, knocking on 2 weeks late. My early April baby may now be a MAY baby!!! I guess this little man is going to grow up constantly surprising us. So that's the story for today from this never-ending saga. I don't know if it's the sleep or just God's answering my prayer for understanding and patience... probably both.... but I'm actually ok. Definitely wish I was at the hospital pushing that little bugger out, but since I'm not, I'm just going to keep dreaming about him. And because I know Saturday will be D-day regardless, I think it's easier to see the glorious finish line.
Until then, I'm going to take my crazy friend Susan's advice and do jumping jacks and pray for my water to break. [Wow... that is NOT a pretty picture.] (=
Well.... could this really be THE day? I think it might be. I know, I know... this coming from the recent little girl who cries labor. But I was really going to get up today and write a post to all of you sweet friends out there for your encouragement and prayers from yesterday (God and Z-packs are SOOO good.... I already feel better), not to mention to give you an update on Baby Lincoln. BUT this is WAY better.... I've been having the GOOD kind of contractions since about 2ish this morning. Naturally I woke up to the bump hard as a rock (this unfortunately happens all the time so nothing to get your knickers ruffled for), but this time it was accompanied by that "it's that time of the month" kind of feeling as well. HALLELUJAH! These are the kind that I've been waiting for (or at least waiting for them to come and stay for awhile). Anyway, I'm now going on 2 1/2 hours of pretty strong ones that are getting closer and more intense, so I really, really, really hope I'm not jinxing myself by writing this! But honestly, I needed something to do other than walk around or take a bath to help the time pass... I am NOT going to the hospital too early this time, I am NOT going to be turned away again, and I am NOT making another trip home without Lincoln in his carseat! So there. (= Anyway, so happy thoughts that today is D-day! Although I'm so beyond done being pregnant, I'm more so done waiting to meet this little man! I can tell he's going to be a mama's boy already... I mean why else would he want to hold out this long for?? I love him already.
I don't think I've mentioned it, but Sailer was sick last week with a terrible cough, non-stop runny nose, low-grade fever, and a sore throat. Her pediatrician dismissed it as either allergies (which I'm sure she does have) or viral since she'd just finished a round of antibiotics for her minor ear infection she'd had from teething. And unfortunately, he couldn't really do anything for her on either front. Well, this mommy came down with it on Friday in a big way! I've been fighting the sore throat, the achy body, the horrible non-stop drip of my nose, and with that, no sleep because I can't breathe at night. It seems to just be getting worse b/c now it's down in my lungs and I have this horrific smoker's hack! Last night I finally broke down in tears b/c I can't sleep (and really need to be saving up some ZZZ time) and have that same problem as the day from hell every time I cough b/c my whole body convulses. I feel like a complete geriatric! I finally just gave up on trying to lay down, and sat on the potty and coughed all night. And to make matters worse, Mark and Sailer's Papa have now come down with it. I just left a message for my doctor b/c I don't know whether it's safer for Mr. Lincoln to just stay camped out where he is since I'm so sick, or if b/c we're so inextricably linked, it could be putting him in danger! And I'm also frightened they're not going to let Mark in the delivery room/ or around Lincoln when he gets here if he keeps on the path that I took with this thing. SOOOOO, if you get a chance today, please say a little prayer for health for my whole family. No one likes to be sick, but this seems to be the worst possible timing ever! )= Thanks and love y'all!!
At the park... where we've basically lived for the last couple of weeks. Luckily, we live in an area with TONS of great parks to visit. This particular day I was SO grateful Sailer's nana was there b/c Lincoln decided to take a nap on a fun nerve so I was hobbling around everywhere and was of little use to Sailer! These boots see a lot of action these days... Making a "Welcome Home Lincoln" sign (telling me to "go away" until she's done): This is what happens when Mimi lets Sailer get into her make-up bag... my little Groucho! And leaves her curlers unattended: Oh, what daddys do to entertain their babies...
And my personal favorite... Lincoln's chair and ottoman FINALLY came in, and we just had to make a house out of the box it came in. Painting, getting naked, having a new place to play in, what's more fun than that?? Did you happen to notice that she started out clothed, then, went to the diaper, and lastly, just said to heck with everything and just painted naked... And last but not least, clothing is definitely optional at our house...seriously though, I would not be surprised if our neighbors thought we moved straight here from the trailer park.
So you probably thought because I haven't posted in awhile that SURELY I've had this baby by now.... uhhhh, nope, he's still cooking! I did, however, make another visit to the hospital Thursday night. I would like in my defense to remind you that with Sailer I only went one time, but this time, the back labor business is totally throwing me off!! Anyway, back to the story. I'd been feeling "off" all day, and my back was killing me! Then, I started contracting and went from 30 minutes to every 6 minutes within a very short amount of time, so it freaked me out. I watched it for awhile, and they were staying around 5-8 minutes apart... but again, the back think never let up and seemed to just get worse with time. So off Mark and I went. They admitted us. Checked me... still a 1! I did tell her that with Sailer I stayed at a 1 despite forever contractions until the dr broke my water and then, I jumped to a 4 in a very short amt of time. Just wanted to throw that out there in case my body was going to do the same thing. Anyway, they watched me for an hour, contractions got a little closer but stayed around the 5 minute mark but with no further cervix opening. So they gave me the option to stay another hour or go home and wait it out. We opted to go home. They then instructed that we not return untl my contractions were about 2 minutes apart... no offense, but that seems awful close to baby-coming-out-time. And the cut off for my happy epidural. Anyway, we got in bed, and DANGIT if they didn't let up! What is my problem? I am becoming the little girl who cried labor! Third time is going to be the charm, I promise!!
In the meantime, here's a list of everything I've tried lately to naturally make this little man come out... just for a few giggles at my absolute desperation and general pathetic-ness: (1) Drank about 4-8 cups of raspberry zinger tea a night (like I didn't have to pee enough as it was...) (2) Have walked pretty much the distance to Mexico and back. (3) Begged and pleaded for my dr to "strip the membranes" but of course, I'm not dilated enough for this. (4) Had 3 pedicures in one week (ok, so this one wasn't that bad to endure) because the cute little Asian lady I go to promised she knew the magic spot to massage to make the baby want to come out. Mark has told me this is simply a marketing ploy. Oh well, I bit. (5) Somewhat on the same page... I've been treated to a weekly prenatal massage for awhile now (again, thank you to my sweet hubby for indulging me in this- though I think it's secretly so he doesn't have to), and this last week, my normal lady was sick, so I went to a new gal. Anyway, the crazy masseuse lady talked the entire time about children's star and moon signs, and how she had a God-given ability to get a tingle when a certain place in the body "spoke" to her....and of course, my "uterus" spoke to her when she was rubbing my feet. Good lord, that was an amusing day. It still makes me laugh, and I am truly thankful that it was dark in the room b/c I could barely keep it together. (6) Performed chinese acupressure on myself from a website about the pressure points used to induce labor (thank the Lord no one could see into my bedroom b/c I was a sight!). (7) Have eaten enough pineapple to keep Hawaii's economy afloat this month (and had to use about 3 bottles of Tums to alleviate the catastrophic heartburn affect thereafter). (8) Have stuck Evening Primrose Oil pills in a place I have never seen and want to forget about... and when that seemed pointless, I took them orally b/c surely it couldn't hurt. (9) Eaten a spicy meal for pretty much every meal and again, all I got was heartburn, no contractions! (10) And finally done what got me into this predicament in the first place which is just SOOOO not sexy or practical or pleasant right now.
So the only two other natural ways I haven't tried (but think about constantly) are: nipple stimulation... but seriously, I just can't seem to wrap my brain around sitting there for hours playing with something that is about to get WAY too much attention in a very short amount of time anyway. Or Castor Oil... those who know me well know I have a weird thing about pottying as it is, so it's my very last resort. Not to mention, I've talked to a few L&D nurses who strongly discouraged it. I have, however, broken down and bought a bottle (and some root beer, S!)... and I stare at it longingly several times throughout the day, and I may just fall soon to its allure! Seriously, I think I'd rather be miserable for a few hours (like labor is fun anyway) instead of being pregnant for one more friggin' day! (=
Well, I went to the dr yesterday and baby is still holding tight with no progress. Due to their company policy, I've been scheduled for inducement on the 29th which is the last date they will allow me to hold out for. I really was ok with this... UNTIL they called back yesterday to confirm everything. During our appt, my doctor had said that I was definitely one of the patients that needed to go in the night beforehand to do the cervix ripener since I hadn't dilated very much... and that this would really help me and possibly put me into labor without the pitocin. Not to mention that a lot of the c-section business comes from inductions where the cervix was forced to contract without proper "ripening" first. So I was like "Game On" for the night beforehand stuff! Well, a couple of hours later, the message I received from our nurse said they'd confirmed the 29th date with the hospital but that I was on the waiting list for the night before procedure. Waiting list?!?!? So I called back (calmly but inside I was pretty upset) and asked isn't it important that I do the night before procedure (given that this is what my dr had said not 2 hours before)... the nurse started to fumble and said that after consideration they didn't think it was that important and that they had to go with what the hospital could accommodate. Ok- so seriously, this is one of the things that I have a hard time with about the inducement thing, the hospital and insurance thing, etc... it's not like I'm setting up an appt for a sono. We're talking about having a baby! It should be my choice. And the hospital should follow what the doctor suggests and not what is convenient for them. So I feel like I'm sitting B-team on the bench for the playoff game. (Can you believe I just used a sports analogy... must be the boy inside). Anyway, I'm still in limbo about what they're going to do and when... until then, I'm praying he just comes on his own and we never have to even worry about it. I'm so sorry.... I feel like lately all I do is complain about him not being here. I guess when I write these posts, it's kind of therapeutic and I use it as my outlet. Thanks for the negative indulgence.
On to a MUCH happier note.... my sweet photographer friend, Alyssa, brought me the CDs from our family maternity session and those from Sailer's "Turning 2" session. I just LOVE them, and they make me so happy!!! Here are some of my faves that weren't in the peek from the Maternity session: And then, Miss. S "Turning 2 years old"....