23 Apri ~ The Little Girl Who Cried Labor...

So you probably thought because I haven't posted in awhile that SURELY I've had this baby by now.... uhhhh, nope, he's still cooking! I did, however, make another visit to the hospital Thursday night. I would like in my defense to remind you that with Sailer I only went one time, but this time, the back labor business is totally throwing me off!! Anyway, back to the story. I'd been feeling "off" all day, and my back was killing me! Then, I started contracting and went from 30 minutes to every 6 minutes within a very short amount of time, so it freaked me out. I watched it for awhile, and they were staying around 5-8 minutes apart... but again, the back think never let up and seemed to just get worse with time. So off Mark and I went. They admitted us. Checked me... still a 1! I did tell her that with Sailer I stayed at a 1 despite forever contractions until the dr broke my water and then, I jumped to a 4 in a very short amt of time. Just wanted to throw that out there in case my body was going to do the same thing. Anyway, they watched me for an hour, contractions got a little closer but stayed around the 5 minute mark but with no further cervix opening. So they gave me the option to stay another hour or go home and wait it out. We opted to go home. They then instructed that we not return untl my contractions were about 2 minutes apart... no offense, but that seems awful close to baby-coming-out-time. And the cut off for my happy epidural. Anyway, we got in bed, and DANGIT if they didn't let up! What is my problem? I am becoming the little girl who cried labor! Third time is going to be the charm, I promise!!

In the meantime, here's a list of everything I've tried lately to naturally make this little man come out... just for a few giggles at my absolute desperation and general pathetic-ness:
(1) Drank about 4-8 cups of raspberry zinger tea a night (like I didn't have to pee enough as it was...)
(2) Have walked pretty much the distance to Mexico and back.
(3) Begged and pleaded for my dr to "strip the membranes" but of course, I'm not dilated enough for this.
(4) Had 3 pedicures in one week (ok, so this one wasn't that bad to endure) because the cute little Asian lady I go to promised she knew the magic spot to massage to make the baby want to come out. Mark has told me this is simply a marketing ploy. Oh well, I bit.
(5) Somewhat on the same page... I've been treated to a weekly prenatal massage for awhile now (again, thank you to my sweet hubby for indulging me in this- though I think it's secretly so he doesn't have to), and this last week, my normal lady was sick, so I went to a new gal. Anyway, the crazy masseuse lady talked the entire time about children's star and moon signs, and how she had a God-given ability to get a tingle when a certain place in the body "spoke" to her....and of course, my "uterus" spoke to her when she was rubbing my feet. Good lord, that was an amusing day. It still makes me laugh, and I am truly thankful that it was dark in the room b/c I could barely keep it together.
(6) Performed chinese acupressure on myself from a website about the pressure points used to induce labor (thank the Lord no one could see into my bedroom b/c I was a sight!).
(7) Have eaten enough pineapple to keep Hawaii's economy afloat this month (and had to use about 3 bottles of Tums to alleviate the catastrophic heartburn affect thereafter).
(8) Have stuck Evening Primrose Oil pills in a place I have never seen and want to forget about... and when that seemed pointless, I took them orally b/c surely it couldn't hurt.
(9) Eaten a spicy meal for pretty much every meal and again, all I got was heartburn, no contractions!
(10) And finally done what got me into this predicament in the first place which is just SOOOO not sexy or practical or pleasant right now.

So the only two other natural ways I haven't tried (but think about constantly) are:
nipple stimulation... but seriously, I just can't seem to wrap my brain around sitting there for hours playing with something that is about to get WAY too much attention in a very short amount of time anyway. Or Castor Oil... those who know me well know I have a weird thing about pottying as it is, so it's my very last resort. Not to mention, I've talked to a few L&D nurses who strongly discouraged it. I have, however, broken down and bought a bottle (and some root beer, S!)... and I stare at it longingly several times throughout the day, and I may just fall soon to its allure! Seriously, I think I'd rather be miserable for a few hours (like labor is fun anyway) instead of being pregnant for one more friggin' day! (=