I'm stll pregnant... I know, I know....

Well, thanks for all the well wishes this morning, and yes, I went to the hospital AGAIN. And yes, I was sent home AGAIN. So yes, I am STILL pregnant. [I mean, seriously, this is like a bad soap opera, huh??]

At about 7ish this morning, my contractions were 3-4 minutes apart and were pretty dang painful (couldn't talk through them). I thought I'd waited it out long enough, so we headed out. I check in, and I kid you not.... I'm actually dilated to a 2 now! [That sounds so menial but I never got there with Sailer until they finally broke my water.] So I was extatic!!! They hooked me up, and I was so confident that this was the real deal. They watched me for an hour, and the super nice nurse had told me early on if I didn't change, she'd have to send me home. She came back an hour later (now thinking about it, she had a weird look on her face). But I was not worried. She then checked me and said I sadly had no improvement and thus would have to send me home. I swear I felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach and knocked the breath out of me. She explained that I was suffering from something called "irritable uterus." [Which by the way I looked up when I got home and this is what I found... "Women who have experienced an irritable uterus will tell you that the condition can manifest itself in painful “like the real thing” feeling contractions. So if an IU really does not cause dilation and true labor, some think women with an IU should have no reason to worry and should just go about their daily lives, dealing with mild discomfort to severe pain, but not needing to be concerned about preterm labor and birth."] Ummmm, I'm worried about birth and a baby falling out if I just choose to ignore the "like the real thing feeling contractions." But I digress...

Well, I'm not a public crier, but she pulled that curtain back for me to change back into my clothes, and I literally just crumbled forward and completely lost it. Poor Mark!! He had no idea what to do, and bless his heart, gave me a hug and said "that last check really hurt, huh??" Well, that totally made me laugh out loud and then, of course, cry harder. The nurse came back so sympathetically and tried with very little success to explain how I'm supposed to distinguish what the real deal is going to be like or this irritable uterus business (doesn't that term sound fake??)... which only made me more upset b/c at this point I'm even more confused and frustrated. Basically the only difference would be if my water broke. Great! She also said I'm still on the waiting list for tonight for the cervix ripener (though I'm first on it), and then, proceeded to pressure me into just forgoing that part and coming straight for the pitocin in the morning. This only made me want to cry more. And honestly, I almost just said "yes" b/c I was at the point of let's get this done with now!!! I think Mark could tell I was wavering and he jumped in and just said "we'll check back later." Thank God for him.

We got home, and I crawled into bed. And I cannot believe it... I actually slept. And slept well for quite awhile. I haven't really slept more than an hour or so since last Wednesday, so I feel like a million bucks (still like an oompa loompa but at least a moderately well-rested one). I have prayed so hard over this pregnancy, little Lincoln, and sought His guidance on how to handle this labor/inducement deal (and I know so many of you incredible ladies have as well). It's funny b/c I don't think inducements are terrible which I'm sure it sounds like... it's just for some reason, I have NEVER had a peace about it for me with this pregnancy. I have from the beginning felt that He was telling me to wait. And goodness, who knows why?? Maybe this little man really needs the extra few days... I just don't know but I really am trying to listen and act accordingly (with Lincoln's safety in mind first!) My doctor told us yesterday if we can't get into tonight, we will do the night before procedure on Friday night and be induced finally on Saturday morning. She indicated that this may end up being better for us anyway b/c it would give the antibiotics she prescribed yesterday a chance to really work since I'm definitely going to need the strength for labor and b/c we definitely don't want Mr. L to be exposed to it either. So maybe all of this is a blessing?!?! I do think it's funny that they told me early on that he'd likely be 2 weeks early b/c he was going to be so big, blah blah blah, and here we are now if we wait until Sat, knocking on 2 weeks late. My early April baby may now be a MAY baby!!! I guess this little man is going to grow up constantly surprising us. So that's the story for today from this never-ending saga. I don't know if it's the sleep or just God's answering my prayer for understanding and patience... probably both.... but I'm actually ok. Definitely wish I was at the hospital pushing that little bugger out, but since I'm not, I'm just going to keep dreaming about him. And because I know Saturday will be D-day regardless, I think it's easier to see the glorious finish line.

Until then, I'm going to take my crazy friend Susan's advice and do jumping jacks and pray for my water to break. [Wow... that is NOT a pretty picture.] (=